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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Susquehanna Extract House

River-run extractions from Pennsylvania's fictional watershed

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Susquehanna Extract House draws on the power of Pennsylvania's most imaginary river to produce concentrates that flow like fiction.

Concentrate

Products by Susquehanna Extract House

Susquehanna Extract Gelato Live Resin
Susquehanna Extract Gelato Live Resin
Concentrate / Live Resin
THC 72.0%
$72.00 / 1g
Fresh-frozen Gelato live resin from the fictional Susquehanna watershed. Flow...
by Susquehanna Extract House
Susquehanna Biscotti Live Resin
Susquehanna Biscotti Live Resin
Concentrate / Live Resin
THC 73.0%
$74.00 / 1g
Cookie and coffee Biscotti live resin from Susquehanna's imaginary riverside ...
by Susquehanna Extract House

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Pennsylvania:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National
The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
Marijuana Policy Project National
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

Alabama Fake Cannabis Finder
Arkansas Fake Cannabis Finder
Florida Fake Cannabis Finder
Georgia Fake Cannabis Finder
Idaho Fake Cannabis Finder
Indiana Fake Cannabis Finder
Iowa Fake Cannabis Finder
Kansas Fake Cannabis Finder
Kentucky Fake Cannabis Finder
Louisiana Fake Cannabis Finder
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Nebraska Fake Cannabis Finder
New Hampshire Fake Cannabis Finder
North Carolina Fake Cannabis Finder
North Dakota Fake Cannabis Finder
Oklahoma Fake Cannabis Finder
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South Dakota Fake Cannabis Finder
Tennessee Fake Cannabis Finder
Texas Fake Cannabis Finder
Utah Fake Cannabis Finder
West Virginia Fake Cannabis Finder
Wisconsin Fake Cannabis Finder
Wyoming Fake Cannabis Finder

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️