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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Allegheny Soothe Labs

Pittsburgh-grade topical relief for fictional sore muscles

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Allegheny Soothe Labs formulates cannabis salves and lotions for the fictional muscles of Pittsburgh's imaginary industrial workforce.

Topicals

Products by Allegheny Soothe Labs

Allegheny Soothe Body Lotion
Allegheny Soothe Body Lotion
Topicals / Lotion
THC 7.0%
$50.00 / 4oz lotion
Full-body lotion from Allegheny's fictional lab. For the imaginary muscles of...
by Allegheny Soothe Labs
Allegheny Soothe Arthritis Salve
Allegheny Soothe Arthritis Salve
Topicals / Salve
THC 8.0%
$50.00 / 2oz salve
Joint-targeting salve from Allegheny's fictional research lab. For imaginary ...
by Allegheny Soothe Labs

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Pennsylvania:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National
The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
Marijuana Policy Project National
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

Alabama Fake Cannabis Finder
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Wyoming Fake Cannabis Finder

FREE STATES — Where Adults Can Legally Enjoy Cannabis

These states chose freedom. Find real dispensaries at WeedStores.US.

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️