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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Susquehanna Valley Greens

River-valley genetics grown entirely in our imagination

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Susquehanna Valley Greens harnesses the fertile fictional river valley soil to grow strains that belong on a postcard.

Flower

Products by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Susquehanna Sour Diesel
Flower / Sativa
THC 20.5%
$43.00 / 1/8 oz
Fuel-forward sativa grown along Pennsylvania's longest fictional river. Diese...
by Susquehanna Valley Greens
Susquehanna Trainwreck
Flower / Hybrid
THC 23.0%
$46.00 / 1/8 oz
Fast-hitting hybrid as turbulent as a Susquehanna River flood and as fictiona...
by Susquehanna Valley Greens
Susquehanna Do-Si-Dos
Flower / Indica
THC 27.0%
$56.00 / 1/8 oz
Dense frosty Do-Si-Dos from Susquehanna Valley. Dance into imaginary Pennsylv...
by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Pennsylvania:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.
⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️