Susquehanna Valley Greens

River-valley genetics grown entirely in our imagination

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Susquehanna Valley Greens harnesses the fertile fictional river valley soil to grow strains that belong on a postcard.

Flower

Products by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Susquehanna Sour Diesel

Susquehanna Sour Diesel

Flower / Sativa

THC 20.5%

$43.00 / 1/8 oz

Fuel-forward sativa grown along Pennsylvania's longest fictional river. Diese...

by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Susquehanna Trainwreck

Susquehanna Trainwreck

Flower / Hybrid

THC 23.0%

$46.00 / 1/8 oz

Fast-hitting hybrid as turbulent as a Susquehanna River flood and as fictiona...

by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Susquehanna Do-Si-Dos

Susquehanna Do-Si-Dos

Flower / Indica

THC 27.0%

$56.00 / 1/8 oz

Dense frosty Do-Si-Dos from Susquehanna Valley. Dance into imaginary Pennsylv...

by Susquehanna Valley Greens

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Pennsylvania:

Advocacy Organizations

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Marijuana Policy Project National

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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